Saturday, February 11, 2012


In less than 2 months, marks my 3rd year as an employed nurse here in this country. I don't know what is wrong with me... why after all these years I am still here, overworked, underpaid, unhappy, and not earning a single cent from my salary. I will be turning 25 this year which means I have already spent (wasted) a quarter of my life in this shithole place. The devastation grows more whenever I see photos of my "much more successful" batchmates living and enjoying life in a land with greener pastures. I know that starting over is tough, but at least they are already there. Call me a victim of colonial mentality but with what our country's heading right now, I really wish Lord Voldemort would Avada Kedavra me right now if life would keep on fcking me in the face with each failed attempt to secure employment overseas. I kept on saying, "2012 is my year!" Then i realized i said that same crap last year ("2011 is my year! Year of the Rabbit."), and where am i now? Suffering in this god-forsakened country with nothing but a few pesos in my pocket, no earnings, no bank account, no good investments, splitting my head from this unbelievable inflation our country's experiencing, while i slave over for an honorarium that is always, always delayed (i thought i would be freed from this curse when i transferred, but the universe tricked me and made it worse). What do i do? Since i have been fed up with building my metaphorical rocket, i decided to tear it down and start from scratch. 2012 is NOT my year. It is somebody else's year. I think i need to spend another year in this crappy place in order for me to realize my full potential. Compensate by saying "i need to earn experience first". And when i have gained enough exp points i will dedicate 2013 to the rebuilding of my rocket..... actually, NO. Because if i fail again i would be in this same situation again ranting, bitching and moaning how, after all these years of being a slave to this fckd-up basketcase of a country, i still messed up the previous years opportunities? Having a kick-ass resume/experience is NOT really all you need in order to succeed, you need luck. Fuckn LUCK. Fck that... how come i'm not getting enough of that? #AKML

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