Sunday, December 26, 2010

Nyu Nyirs Revolutions

These are my "Nyu Nyirs Resolutions" -- the one's i will actually (try) to fulfill.


Every year i come up (and sometimes not come up) with a list of goals i need to attain during the incoming year. For 2010 i was too lazy and too mesmerized by my post-registration status (Employed) to even care about making one. But even without a list, i was able to accomplish some great and not-so-proud things for 2010 (pass the IELTS, be resourceful in the workplace, chickening out everytime i am faced with a 'dementor', start and never finish a job, etc. etc.) yyyet mostly on the latter part. :/
I am now faced with the challenge to set my life straight and maybe i will be printing this out in bold letters and stick it on my wall hoping that this will motivate me. But whatever the Universe will serve on my table, i shall eat it. If none of these goals will be fulfilled in 2011, i shall blame myself for not putting enough effort. . . i shall whip myself, join the procession to Calvary during Holy Week 2012, force myself to weep bloody tears. . .

So here's my list... Enjoy.

I have already jumpstarted this phase as early as the 2nd half of 2010 through my on and off love affair with the tracks. During my stint at the ER early 2010 i was in constant cardio and when i was rotated back to the ward, my entire system failed and i am back again to gaining weight. As of this writing i am still a Fast Food Junkie, an occasional binge-eater (no purging; i take pride on my refusal to recognize the constant partner of 'bingeing'), and a seasonal drinker/smoker ('seasonal" yes). I have this list i posted on my wall which i shall call my "SexyBack Manifesto" which is aimed on, well, getting fit! On 2011... wait, since this phase has already commenced, it would be appropriate to state that starting tomorrow i will be going to the tracks 5-6x a week for 30 minute walks/runs. The only exceptions for my failure to stick in this regimen would be sickness, tiredness, and contrasting work schedules. I will be gradually rehabilitating myself from this addiction to Fast Food, in hopes of bringing down my Tg level. The main goal for this is controlling my blood pressure. I shall also utilize my EMS privileges through a total work-up. :)

My life is relatively chaotic... my room, laundry, files, computer, everything! I am just so thankful that i leave this part of me inside the house. For 2011 i will be adopting a softcore OCD lifestyle. I will (try to) sort out the littlest components of my physical world, from my CV to the files in my computer to the items in my room, which is really not that much. I will learn how to dispose of unwanted items, (and replace them with newer, better things... chos! hehe) and organize everything to the tiniest detail. . . and i shall not bitch and moan about how difficult and time consuming and troublesome it is to do this. I will periodically evaluate and re-evaluate myself if i progressed or regressed.

Aside from heaving a relatively chaotic life, mine's also going down in a spiral motion back to Earth. . . but at a pretty slow to medium pace. How did i come up with that assessment? Simple, the fact that almost everyone in my batch have already achieved something and i am sadly one of those who haven't YET. I kept on saying that i am still waiting for my rocket to come. But it suddenly struck me when someone told me to "build my rocket" and "not just wait for it". I am not saying that i am not doing anything, in fact i have done some things already in order for that rocket to arrive. Yet i realized that as embarrassing as it may sound, i do not put much effort in building my rocket. Let us just say that when it would usually require welding to build a sturdy rocket, i only use duct tape or kanin paste build mine. This also translates to the smallest things in my life such as a photoediting project. I tend to get distracted by a lot of things most of the time while doing something, and i usually have a lot of excuses for not finishing them on time. So coming 2011, i shall start from my CV working my way up to a Work Visa to an overseas destination. And perhaps by the 2nd or 3rd quarter of the incoming year i will be able to share whatever i earn to my family, which i still fail and sometimes refuse to do even though i already have a paying job. :P

I realized that with my relatively sufficient salary of P 7,700.00 per month as a Contracted Nurse, about 100% of it is being spent... and that continued even after i paid my utangs from my mum (payment for items i bought using her credit card account hehehe). I believe 2011 is the time for me to redeem my financial self and be a nurse slash junior accountant. I have plans for 2011, one of them is to have advanced trainings in order for me to heighten up my credentials. (ACLS Training would give you an edge... i think...) I can not afford to ask for financial assistance again from my mum. I want to try gradually detaching myself from the cord that once attached us... at least try to be independent even in financial matters at the least. I shall go back to basics on this one. Back when i was still in the 4th grade. When cassette tapes are still the bomb. I would save up a portion of my lunch money then for cassette tapes because i would not want my mum to sustain my own vices, i mean "wants". Usually by the end of the month, i would have usually earned enough money to buy 2 cassette tapes with some spare to spend 1-2 hours in a Playstation Shop (kinda like RPG Cafe's for DOTA, WOW, Flyff etc. now but back then we played PS games). Now, instead of earning for cassette tapes, i shall be earning for training fees, transportation fees, accommodation fees (since i will be planning to have those trainings in Manila) etc. Props to a good friend of mine for giving me this idea.

I think one of my main weaknesses is that i am too nice... I THINK. :/ Am i nice? I developed a habit of always saying "sorry" or "thank you" when it comes to minor or unimportant matters, and i think it is moderately dragging my self-esteem down. I believe what i needed for 2011 is an ego-boost. I think i need to tone down on the nice attitude just a little bit. I assessed that i am already losing some of it ever since i started working, yet i believe my assessment may have been inaccurate... I shall be shedding off once and for all every nice bone or muscle in my body and be a cold-blooded, position-hungry, mothafocka... or i can just at least be civil to every person. (although i don't know how to manifest such).

I am already sleepy, it's almost 5 am, so i really need to publish this one now.
I end this post with the word