I thought Zombieland was one of the best movies i have ever seen... ever. And i think the rules on how to survive in that fictional world is awesome. Which prompted me to make some rules of my own on how to live or survive in this "unnatural world" as i would like to call it. This post will be constantly updated, there will be some additions and omissions along the way since my ideas are always dynamic and ever-changing. But a word of warning though, this may not apply to everyone and i strongly suggest you readers not to take everything written here seriously. We are, after all, unique beings breathing the same components in this unnatural world, but the way we utilize its resources will always be subjected on how we perceive it.
Rule # 1: When going out, always remember to bring the following with you (or stick in your bag, whichever you prefer): a folded umbrella, a pen, and a pocketbook/manga/magazine. You will never know when you'll get stuck under the burning sun/ pouring rain/ in a traffic jam/ with a boring person or a combination of the aforementioned OR when you will be required to write something down like an important person's number, a form you need to fill-in etc.
Rule # 2: Do not fake something unless necessary. Remember the story of the boy who cried wolf? I used not to take that too seriously since i see myself as someone who rarely does that, but when you started doing it, it actually can become a habit and next thing you knew, the wolves are coming after you wanting to take a big bite off your butt. I started a habit of "calling in sick" whenever i find it troublesome or (mostly) indolent to go to work, and only about half of my excuses are true. And when i really become sick i force myself to go to work because i think i already "maxed out" on my "call in sick" powers/privileges. So now, i learned my lesson: that whatever you wish will most definitely come true.